Author: admin |Mon, 06/15/2009

41Public interest to childfree- voluntary childless - increases year from a year. The phenomenon of voluntary childlessness interested me for a long time. The active position of freedom from children is occupied basically with women as is not enough men and they are less active.

So, we see the woman at the age of 20 till 30 years, with high education and the verified interests, asserting that she does not feel need for a birth of children. Principal causes - unwillingness to break off the career, to refuse leisure and personal growth, fear that pregnancy and childbirth will affect appearance, relations with the partner and so on.

The child frees explain the hostility, and sometimes and aggression, in relation to children exclusively with self-defense reasons. Refer to pressure of a society and private compulsion by a birth of children. Some remember the difficult childhood, absence of mutual understanding with parents and say that they do not want, that someone else followed a similar way.

And now let's glance at those who, is on an opposite side. I mean the people who actively assert that children are necessary both to a family, and a society, and to refuse their birth is an immaturity and egoism sign.

It is possible to tell with confidence that initially very few people had any position on this point. As a rule, the person already having children becomes the opponent when learns about childfree existence. But it does not mean that their own choice - to give birth and bring up the child - was aware.

So, one become pregnant and give birth because "it is a high time". Others - because could not avoid pregnancy. The third - to "attach" the partner, the fourth, without having the constant partner, to give birth "for herself". The fifth - fear a lonely old age (this, egoistical, motivation: "Give birth to have somebody to take care of you when you become old", - causes so much anger at childfree).

Certainly, there are also those who give birth simply because they love children and are ready to give them all the heart and soul. But, unfortunately, the aware parenting happens less frequent, as it would be desirable.

It turns out that there is no difference between the person going on a mounting skiing resort for the sake of own pleasure and the person, giving the world a new life only to receive in an old age a notorious glass of water, or to see as the child realizes her own non-realized ambitions. So both proceed only from egoism. And if there is no difference between opponents, then whom are they fighting with?

In a cabbala it is said that egoism is the nature of each person, irrespective of his belief. And until the person will not receive real possibility to consult with the egoism, any attempt will leave egoistical attitude no more than fight with windmills.

As though we aspired to operate altruistic, bringing up the children or co-operating with associates, - without the realized development of yourself in this direction we won't have any success. If the person gets ability really to care of others, instead of to be closed on personal interests irrespective of children presence or absence he can find out himself in the fine and loving world.

Each of us has the own mission in life. And mostly we think that the main mission is to give a birth. Yes, it is very good mission, but not everyone comes in this world to give a new life. Somebody comes to make this life better, not only for themselves, but also for other people. Look around and see how many people help others. Of course it could be a little help and a big help. But in total - the person gives a new life for kindness and brings up the spirit of society. It is not less important than to deliver a baby. And sometimes it takes much effort and energy. So don't be so strict for people who don't want to have baby. It is better to have no baby at all then to have a child and then not to be able to bring him up.

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