Moving From Duo to Trio

Author: admin |Tue, 06/30/2009


 When your child is born, it is difficult to describe your first feelings. You realize that your world has changed, and so has your family. Now there is one smaller, but nevertheless equally important and beloved family member in your house. For some people it takes some time to get used to this, for others - less.

So what to do, when the duo has become a trio?

To begin with we will discuss a little physiology. Women are designed by nature with the purpose to reproduce and look after the child. A maternal instinct seems to naturally kick in. For new fathers, the realization of being a father can take a little longer. At first they might feel afraid they are holding the baby wrong, or feeding/bathing them wrong. Give advice but don't fall into the trap of being over cautious. Resist the temptation to step in and do it all yourself, babies need time with their fathers too.  

Remember that the father of your child is also your partner, and this role is as equally important. Much in the same way you would like to be seen as not only a mother but a partner/lover. Avoid referring to your partner constantly as 'Daddy'. Phrases like "Let's see what Daddy is doing" and "welcome home Daddy, we've missed you' are playful, but can place a certain distance or barrier in the relationship you have with your partner.

The role of the modern day dad is ever changing. Traditional stereotyped roles of mothers raising children and fathers working and playing a financially supportive role are no longer viewed as the norm. Increasingly, women are staying in employment and fathers are taking time off work to be stay at home fathers.

Both mothers and fathers encourage their babies to explore the world and learn about all objects great and small. However, mothers and fathers relate to their child, and have different approaches of interaction. Mothers tend to speak soothingly and softly in repetitive rhythms to their infants and snugly hold them. Fathers tend to provide more verbal and physical stimulation, by patting their babies gently and communicating to them with sharp bursts of sound. As babies grow older, many come to prefer playing with their fathers who provide unpredictable, stimulating, and exciting interaction. This stimulation is important because it fosters healthy development of the baby's brain and can have lasting effects on children's social, emotional, and intellectual development. Infants with involved fathers tend to score higher on tests of thinking skills and brain development.

Even if a father does not live with his children, the relationship has a long-lasting effect on the child's health and development. Communication and bonding with quality time should be encouraged between the father and child. Particularly in the case where the father works long hours and has little time to spend with his child. They need to make the most of the interaction, and it should be fun and educational. Fathers should avoid watching films, TV or playing video games with their children, but rather engage in physical games like backyard cricket or football, playing board games, or special trips like to children's science museum/zoo etc.

Building strong relationships based on good communication in any family is key to it's success. Even from day one, the love and support you offer will affect your child's future. So with that in mind, we wish you happy transition from a duo to a trio!

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