Negative people at work

Author: admin |Thu, 06/18/2009

57 My friend for last two years has made a great career. Now she works as the top-manager in a high corporation. Several weeks ago asked me for advice. It was urgently necessary. At office there was a new employee. The lovely, witty and talented manager. She became pleasant to him at first sight. So she has described a situation to me. The problem was that he made unambiguous jokes in her address publicly. Used each opportunity to touch her. Actively discussed all a prettiness of her figure. He began to irritate her. She was indifferent to him. Moreover, recently even was afraid to communicate with him. What to do in such situation?

She was afraid to tell to him something. But thereby warmed up interest to. So she allowed addressing with self so. I know it not the first year. She is already under thirty, and she is not married yet. In each man sees the potential husband. It became its obsession. Most likely, this employee has been sent to her for lesson passage. For differentiation of relations. I have advised her to talk to him, to have a conversation about the problem. Conversation has not helped ... He has apprehended it as game continuation.

Method number two. Try to shame him so that all employees heard. Thereby she could stop gossips and hints which have already blossomed at magnificent color in this office. But she avoided meetings with the new employee, chose different methods of dialogue with his department to avoid direct contacts.

Method number three. She has addressed to the chief. Has burst out crying and has poured out all pain and sufferings on him. The chief has been stunned! It can help someone, but mostly chief is not supposed to regulate such conflicts.

And then we have decided to choose tactics «to fight fire with fire». I have advised her to accept conditions of game of this macho. To play on his field. On his rudeness to answer the same. At first it has stunned him. He has not got used to such scenario, began to be nervous. As a matter of fact, she has incurred a role of his mirror. And he was not pleasant to it very much. Moreover, she even has invited him in cafe to a dinner. And there has very accurately and particularly classified a situation. If he was going to work further in this corporation he can hope only for business relations with her. She has depicted plans and problems of firm and has explained his role in this scheme. If he accepts these conditions - they remain simply employees. If not - he should leave. Confidently and sincerely.

In a life of each of us there are unpleasant people. It doesn't matter who they are: your neighbors, colleagues, friends, partners or relatives - they make the life of you miserable, spoil your mood and take away your energy. These people possess qualities which are unacceptable for you. It can be jealousy, egoism, nonsense. You cannot affect these people; therefore the best way avoid conflicts - to reduce your dialogue to a minimum.

How to behave with such people? Three strategies:

Talk to them

Talk to them personally, write the letter or make phone call. Let them know that you do not accept their behavior. Perhaps, they simply do not notice that behave negatively in relation to you and after you will rebuke them, all will change. At least, you will try to understand, what the problem is and how it can be solved. Unfortunately, conversations help with such cases seldom.

Correspond to them

Conflicts and bad relations arise because of unjustified expectations and disappointments more often. If you consider someone as the best friend, and this person only uses you, you, naturally, give to him much more time and attention, rather than he does, this discrepancy becomes inevitable sooner or later the conflict reason. Accept a situation and try, that quantity of forces and the energy, given to relations, were identical as with that, and on the other hand. Do not worry, being late for a meeting to the friend if this friend can make you wait him for hours in restaurant. Observe balance of your relations.

Stop dialogue

If it is impossible to find the compromise, try to reduce your dialogue as much as possible. Certainly, will be very impractical to leave work or move in other city, for only not to see people who are not pleasant to you. But do not think that if you simply try not to pay to them attention, the situation will be resolved. The poisonous person remains poisonous. Probably, it is hard, but you should make the firm decision and tear off all communications. Remove an e-mail address, telephone numbers, and a home address. Remember, your happiness is the most important thing. Do not allow anyone to destroy it.

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